International Adoption Clinic Visit

I drove to Houston on Tuesday so Artem could see the IA (International Adoption) doctor at the Texas Children's Health Center for International Adoption. Fortunately for us, we have family (Randy's brother Bill and new wife Amy that were just married in Cancun) that live in Houston and we were able to stay with them. Artem had a lot of fun visiting with them and since they are just getting settled into their new home, they have lots of wide open space for an 18 month toddler to run through and their wood floors echo so nicely for Artem to yell and hear the sound of his own voice. (lots of fun for the adults to hear)

The IA clinic was not easy to find and I am very good with directions and I'm one of those people that can travel just about anywhere and tell you which direction is north. I could NOT for the life of me, find this place, and spent over an hour driving and walking around trying to get there. Even once inside the building I was still lost b/c no one told me that the elevator only takes you to the 3rd floor and then you have to take the tunnel to another set of elevators in order to reach the 17th floor. I just get in the elevator trying to find the 17th floor button and only have 3 floors to pick from. (I was sure I was on some sort of hidden video show).

We saw the IA doctor and the nurse and they were very nice people. The doctor asked me the following questions:
1. What foods won't he eat? Ketchup, the boy eats everything in sight except ketchup.
2. Can he run? Yes, and fast like his hair is on fire.
3. Can he kick a ball? Yes, he can kick a ball and throw it overhand.
4. What words can he say? Dada (daddy), car, ball, truck, up-py (puppy), hi, and he tries to say, bird and book, plus after nap the other day he said, "mother will you help me split atoms as I'm trying to design a new fuel source to solve the high gas prices you are facing at the pump?" (the doctor was really impressed with that one)
5. How are his sleep patterns? Excellent, he's down by 8:00 at night and most mornings I'm waking him at 8:30. He also takes a 3 hour nap each afternoon.
6. How high can he stack blocks? His soft blocks are from Russia and have a little peek flap on them with a picture behind the flap so he can only get 3 or 4 to stay b/c they fall over b/c of the flap but he figured out the other day that if he stacks them against the wall they won't fall over and he made a stack as tall as him without it falling over.

That was the extent of their questions and they plugged the answers into the computer and told me he is right on track with his development, possibly a little ahead and they have no concerns for him. They said his speech might take a little time to catch up b/c he's learning two languages but it will catch up quickly without any problems. Then they looked in his ears, shined the light in his eyes and looked at his teeth and said he looks good. That was it. Literally, that was all. I thought, "I just drove all this way for that?" "I've been fighting our health care (more on this later) for weeks for that? " I was not impressed at all. I could have told them he was on track, I could have told him he's a smart kid. Our PCP here in town gave him a much more thorough examine when we saw him for the referral.

The IA doctor then informed me that Artem needed four shots right now, his TB skin test and then they would do blood for him in the lab. I asked the nurse if she would hold him so I could wait outside and come in when they were finished so I could be the rescurer. I'm not afraid of needles but I wanted to "rescue" Artem from everything b/c of attachment issues. The nurse just stared at me like I had been speaking a foreign language. I explained to her, "I'm working on attachment with Artem and I want to be the one to rescue him when this is all over". She said, "Oh okay, I guess I can hold him for you." Come on people, this is first day stuff! You are an IA clinic, this should be routine, why are you acting like its the first time you've ever heard this idea? I digress, Artem received his 4 shots in the leg and his TB test and they put some numbing cream on the creases of both arms so we could go to the lab for the blood draws. The nurse gave me some information on the EIC (early intervention program) that Texas offers, but told me we probably won't qualify as it looks like Artem is not delayed in any areas, and then gave me some information on foods to feed him. That was it, our appointment was over. Not what I was expecting.

We went to the lab and waited for 45 minutes b/c the lab had to call the doctor and verify that Artem really needed all the blood work completed that was on his paperwork. (if this is the IA clinic lab, don't you think they would be familiar with the blood work post institutionalized children need and would have seen a long laundry list of blood work like this before?) Again, I digress. We were finally called back and not a moment too soon as I was on my last gold fish and the Cheerios had been polished off a long time ago. (It was 11:30 at this point) I took Artem back for the blood work and again had to ask someone to hold him and explain the whole attachment issue, etc. They did get someone to hold him while I waited outside. They could only get one vial of blood from one vein so they had to stick him again in the other arm to finish the blood draw. A nurse walked by and asked if that was my son in the room screaming. I told her it was and she said, "Are you waiting out here so you can go in and rescue him afterwards?" Why YES, I am, finally someone understood!! She said, "Oh we see that all the time with adopted kids." Well ya might want to spread the news on that b/c so far she was the only one that understood me. After the blood work was finished they gave me the poop collecting cups, (that will be fun) and we were headed for home.

Artem takes awhile to fall asleep in his car seat, usually a half hour to 45 minutes, but he was sound asleep with his head slumped forward by the time I made it out of the parking garage. Bless his little heart for everything he had to endure that morning. I stopped at the Jack-in-the-Box on the way home for my lunch and as I looked in my rear view mirror at my son slumped over, four band aids on his legs, band aids on his arm for the TB test and both arms wrapped in band aids for the blood draws, I just started crying and crying for everything I put him through that morning. I felt so guilty for doing that to him when the appointment really didn't do much for us. If I had to do it all over again I would NOT go to the IA clinic. I received better care with Artem's PCP and could have done everything at his office rather than travel four hours to Houston for the appointment.

Additionally, our insurance company, whom I just love, (insert sarcasm) called me today and said our request for the referral was denied because "pre-adoptive" issues are not covered under our insurance. I told the lady it wasn't pre-addoptive since he's already home and she asked me what judge told me we had to get this appointment done and asked for the court order that said we needed this appointment. It wasn't worth the explanation so I just thanked her for calling and left it at that. I'll pay the bill when it arrives.

From now on, I will trust my mommy instinct that told me I didn't need that IA doctor, and I will rely on our PCP to take care of Artem. It's funny, I never thought we would need a Russian doctor to review our referral on our first trip in Russia, but I arranged one anyway since that's what everyone does. We ended up cancelling our Russian doctor after meeting Artem because we were confident we had a healthy referral. I made the IA doctor appointment because that's what everyone does when they come home, yet in the back of my mind I knew we didn't need it, and it was true. We didn't need it. Our PCP did a much better examination of Artem and he could have given us the paperwork for the local lab here to do all his blood work and it all would have been covered under insurance since we wouldn't have been out of area and out of network.

Lesson learned, listen to my mommy voice inside that tells me what Artem needs.